Blonde Quotes

It is great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people.

There's only one sort of natural blonde on earth - albinos. Marilyn Monroe I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. Dolly Parton

My real hair color is kind of a dark blonde. Now I just have mood hair.

Phoebe: I may play the fool at times but I'm a little more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won't quit.

A woman has a much better chance than a man of acquittal on a murder charge. If she happens to be a blonde her chances rise about 45 percent.

Look, it's one of the great mysteries of the world, I cannot answer that question. I think I'm vaguely blonde. To be perfectly frank, I don't know. [When asked what colour her hair is]

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.

Blondes make the best victims. They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints. Alfred Hitchcock I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

It isn't that gentlemen really prefer blondes, it's just that we look dumber.

Being a Southern person and a blonde, it's not a good combination. Immediately, when people meet you, they think of you as not being smart. Reese Witherspoon She was what we used to call a suicide blonde - dyed by her own hand

Picasso had his pink period and his blue period. I am in my blonde period right now.

When it comes to spotting a blonde hair on a man's coat, every wife has 20-20 vision. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. Dolly Parton I may be a dumb blonde, but I'm not that blonde.

Arthur Miller wouldn't have married me if I had been nothing but a dumb blonde. Marilyn Monroe Gentlemen prefer blondes.

God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

I'm blonde what's your excuse? Reese Witherspoon

[On being blonde] People talk to me more slowly now.

I see L.A. as a beautiful blonde with dirty underwear.

It's great being blonde - with such low expectations it's easy to impress. Pamela Anderson

Blondes make the best victims. They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints. Alfred Hitchcock

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.

She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand.

Like so many substantial Americans, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag.

It isn't that gentlemen really prefer blondes, it's just that we look dumber.

[On blonde wig she wore for movie Galaxy Quest] Once I put that wig on, I didn't say an intelligent thing for four months. My voice went up. I walked differently. I'd ask incredibly stupid questions. Sigourney Weaver

[On going blonde for the 'Scooby Doo' film] It's a pain in the ass. I never thought I would ever use terms like 'My roots!' Or 'My dye job!' or 'My colour's not holding.' Freddie Prinze Junior

I can't wait to dye my hair back to blonde - it's about time people saw the real Abi and stopped messing me about.

[On Friends character, Phoebe] I may play the fool at times but I'm a little more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won't quit. Lisa Kudrow

If you're blonde, as I am, and you have blond lashes, you have to wear mascara, otherwise you're invisible on stage.

I used to hate being different. I used to cry. I wanted to be blonde-haired and blue-eyed like all of my girlfriends. My mom and dad would feel so badly - 'No, it's OK. You'll be happy you're different later'.

The worst thing is when the press call me a dizzy blonde - I got a B in Drama, a D in English, I did a hairdressing course and a beauty certificate.

I hate being a blonde.

If you couldn't tell, I'm not a natural blonde.

People figure because I'm blonde and was a model, I just waltzed into Los Angeles and got major roles in major films.

I'm not some blonde bimbo. I want to be a successful businesswoman.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard? A: Grade 4.

Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman? A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.

Q: How do you plant dope? A: Bury a blonde.

Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint? A: It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.

Q: Why don't blondes like using a vibrator? A: It chips their teeth.

Q: Why did the blonde quit using birth control pills? A: They kept falling out.

Q: Why was the blonde depressed when she saw the results of her drivers test. A: she saw that she got an "F" in sex.

Q: How would a blonde punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry" A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry.

Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test? A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Q: What is foreplay for a blonde? A: Thirty minutes of begging.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle? A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A: Well...

The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche? A: You can only fit two people in a Porsche.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? A: It took her a month to realize she could play it at night...

Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan? A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.

Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms? A: Way to go team.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde virgin who wasn't upset about losing her cherry? A: She figured she could always get a new one, since she still had the box it came in.

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A: So men can understand them.

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved.

Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster? A: In the morning, a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodle-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."