Insult Quotes

I called your boyfriend gay, then he hit me with his purse :S

“If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.”

“If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon.”

” I’ve had a wonderful evening - but this wasn’t it.”

“You’re the reason our kids are so ugly.”

“I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics.”

“Even rabbits insult an dead lion.”

“I can’t believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.”

But, please, don’t insult anybody seriously, some people can take it very seriously :) Here are some quotes about insulting someone..

How true this saying is, ” It’d be a terrific innovation if`you could get your mind to stretch a little further than the next wisecrack.”

Because you see, as Oscar Wilde puts it, “A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.”

“If you can’t ignore an insult, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh it off; and if you can’t laugh it off, it’s probably deserved.”

“There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that the has never known trouble.”

“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”

“The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.”

“It is not he who reviles or strikes you who insults you, but your opinion that these things are insulting.”

But one should never an insult for so long, “Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone”

“If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon. ”

“It is often better not to see an insult than to avenge it.”

“A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.”

“I love it when someone insults me. That means that I don’t have to be nice anymore. ”

“I’m not that desperate and you’re not that lucky.”

“The most effective comeback to an insult is silence. ”

And always remember this, “Never insult an alligator until you’ve crossed the river.”

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

May the Fleas of a Thousand Camels infest one of your Erogenous Zones.

May you get the winning lottery ticket and a hole in your pocket.

May you have eyes like a hawk and a spouse with warts.

May you learn the secret of life in every dream, then forget it each time you awaken.

May you live in uninteresting times.

May you make a poor man richer: your doctor.

May you make a widow and orphans happy -- your own.

May your children be so famous every policeman knows them.

May your clock run slow, your heart fast, your bile over, your wife away, your nose always.

May your daughters' hair grow thick, black, and abundant -- all over their faces.

May your possessions never tempt another to steal.

Your mind is a one bit processor with parity error

Here's a red box, go call someone who cares (Dedrick T.S.L.)

The difference between this company and a cactus plant is that the plant has pricks on the outside.

The hotel of your mind has many vacancies (Animaniacs)